Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
