Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
