Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
