I got chris browned last night
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Everything about him screamed your future.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
