so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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