There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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