Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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