Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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