Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
