I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
