i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
