is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
