Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
