when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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