I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
