when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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