I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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