Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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