Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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