fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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