After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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