so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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