I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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