Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
