I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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