Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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