i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
