Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
