Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
