why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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