Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
