Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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