remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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