There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
