Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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