like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
