so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am one with the molecules
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
