careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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