How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
