windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So. Much. Porn.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
