can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
