Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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