I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
