im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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