Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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