saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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