Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I will pee on everything he values.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
