Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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