So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
