haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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