I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
