it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
