I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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