You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
