dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
