No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
