I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
