I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
