She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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